So, we all need goals right?

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In order to achieve what we want, we have to make goals. I want a healthier life. I want to weigh 150 pounds or less. Last time I checked, I have about 105 lbs. to go (give or take…depending on the day). Lofty goal, yes? Of course it is! I have been on the path to this goal for almost a year now. I am on track to have lost 25 pounds by the end of year. Which, for most people, you would think is a success. And it is…but I am not done yet.

Did I think I would be farther along by now? Yes.

Will this stop me? No.

My main objective is clear but as an obese person (yes, I use that naughty word), there are certain things you always have to keep in mind and be ever aware of that a person of healthy weight might not have to think about. Now some of these could pertain to others, because we all have insecurities but some of them are a bigger issue when you are obese (or even dare I say, morbidly obese).

These are my healthy small goals, that I plan to look forward to when I lose my weight…however long it takes me!

-To be able to shop in any store without questioning “Will I be able to find anything to wear?”

-Be comfortable and confident to go clothes shopping with my friends. (Even the itty bitty ones)

-Never have to miss out on another summer day of roller coasters.

*Side story: The last time I rode a roller coaster, I barely fit in the chair and the attendant probably should not have let me ride. But I think due to my persistence and probably his awareness of the delicacy of the situation, let me ride anyway. Well, I almost fell out. As we were going around a turn my body almost came out of my chair. I looked in fear at my friend next to me, and she knew what was wrong. The rest of the ride I held onto her for dear life, and clutched the seat as much as I could. That was 2008.

-Be confident in my health so going to the doctor doesn’t scare me.

(This is why I love the dentist so much, he is the only doctor that can tell me good news or won’t scold me or doesn’t have to have a “talk” with me)

-Able to not be nervous about getting on a plane and worrying about my seatbelt or if the person sitting next to me will have their space encroached upon by basically my fat.

(Thankfully, I have not had to buy an extra seat, or get a seatbelt extender when flying…but I am cutting it close. Thankfully, most of the times I have flown, have been with other people..so their silent compliance with my fat is there…but with strangers, it is a different story)

-Never have to be uncomfortable in any seat ever again. Whether it is at a movie theater, a plane, a restaurant, a bar stool, etc.

(Bar stools are my particular foe, since I have so much weight in my stomach area, and my ankles tend to swell up if I sit too long. If I am on a bar stool, my legs are dangling, and my weight is cutting off their circulation…its awful)

-Never have to say to myself “Am I too heavy for that?”

….I would really like to safely bungee jump or skydive

-Never have to hear these phrases from someone:

  • But you don’t look that heavy
  • You dress really well for your size
  • You know you probably only need to lose like 10-20 lbs (this is always after I have told somebody how much weight I would like to lose)
  • …in response to calling myself fat, “You aren’t fat, Don’t say that!” (…yes, yes I am)

-Never again have to be the person my friends have to accommodate for because of my weight.

…the biggest one I can remember is in college, one of my best friends Dan had a 2 door car…so naturally 2 people would pile in the back and then someone would get shotgun. I almost always seemed to get shotgun. The reason? They saw how much I struggled to get in and out of the backseat. We never discussed this. But they knew…

-So I never have to pretend I don’t like something because I know if I do it, then it could be embarrassing or I won’t be able to accomplish it because of my weight.

-So I never have to pretend that my friends or I could actually fit into each others clothes.

( I really love hearing from a skinny person, “OMG, I love your shirt, you will have to let me borrow it!” … to which I think, “As what, a moo moo for your Halloween costume?” )

-So that my next significant other weighs LESS than I do.

…this is a big one. I have never weighed less than any of the people I have seriously dated. There were some of them that I had a good 50-80lbs on them.

Welp, these are some of the things that cross my mind whenever I envision my healthy life.

Gotta start somewhere right?

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